new mindset

SO, I know I've been, well...  lost, for quite some time but I am going to try and get back into this, both for the cathartic and therapeutic aspects blogging has as well as to chronicle some of the things I've been dabbling in while I've been away.

I've decided at 25 I have officially reached my quarter life crisis (and yes I do plan on living to 100 regardless of the crotchety old woman I am sure to become).  After all this school and tests and whatnot  I STILL don't know what I want to do.  I know what brings me happiness and I'm thinking more and more that this is what I should be focusing on trying to make happen.

Fact:  litigation does not make me happy.  Sure, I'll argue for as long as the next guy until I'm blue in the face because, let's face it, I am always right (JK!) but does it really make me happy?  Nope.  It stresses me the F*%# OUT.  So I guess that being a trial attorney and arguing for a living is going to be pretty stressful for me.  But, I remember I did enjoy working with people because I was under the impression that I was helping them.  Helping people whether through volunteering, a shoulder to cry on or good advice has ALWAYS been something that made me happy.  I feel like I am useful when I make someone smile or just comfort them in any way that I can.  I think that's why I enjoyed custody cases.  It was because I felt like I was giving a frustrated parent an outlet as someone to talk to and hope by saying that I would do everything in my power to help them get custody of their child.  (Insert minor problem here of the huge dissatisfaction that I am causing the other parent when doing this.  I still haven't reconciled that little bump in my mind.)  So how to help people and still get paid for it because, let's be real, mama needs to eat!  Did I need to go to law school?  Probably not...  Was it an impulse decision because I was petrified of trying to join the real world after college without any job prospects and lose my health insurance in the process?  Probably yes...  So really, epic fail on my part.

At this point, it's time to stop being scared of what I don't know (which quite frankly petrifies me to a point I am uncomfortable discussing on here) and own up to the mistakes I've made.  This is the only way I can realistically move forward.  I'm not the first person in crisis and I'm sure I won't be the last, so people, LET'S DO THIS!